虞琳敏(一)

　　拍摄纪录片是我的最爱，因为我可以从头到尾，自己做主，不必与任何人妥协。——虞敏琳(奥斯卡金像奖、最佳纪录片得主)

　　引子：奥斯卡对于中国人来说是一个难言的情结，而在大洋彼岸的美国，一个英文名字叫杰西卡的女孩，1997年获得当年的奥斯卡金像奖，却不被大多数中国人所知，她就是今年34岁的的华裔女导演虞琳敏。一个用镜头记录生活的电影人，一个曾经笑傲全美的击剑高 手。

　　解说：从享誉世界的好莱坞，驱车到虞琳敏的家，只需要四十分钟。在这四十分钟里，我们经历了从喧嚣浮躁到宁静安逸。

　　虞琳敏和丈夫马克·赛尔斯曼住在山上，寻找他们的家我们颇费了些周折。喷泉，阳光，一对年轻恬淡的夫妻，五年前的荣耀似乎已经渐渐淡去，山下的热闹也仿佛与他们没有干系。我们的造访却将他们硬生生拽回到那个夜。

　　马克·赛尔斯曼:她获奥斯卡之后，当然，一切都变化得非常快，真是一夜之间，第二天电话就响个不停，整个屋子都堆满了鲜花，而且一时间上百万，上亿的人在电视上见到了她，所以甚至当我去超市买东西时，人们都会鼓掌说，这是杰西卡。虞的丈夫。常常我接起电话，就有个人说，“我找杰西卡。虞”，我说，“她现在不在，我可以带个信吗？”然后他就问，“你是她的秘书吗？”我说，“不，我是她丈夫”，“哦，虞先生，久仰大名”。所以一切都改变得很突然，但是是朝着好的方向。和一个出名的人结婚是件快乐的事，这是好事，毕竟不是因为做坏事出名。从这个意义上说，还是很好的，当然我有时也嫉妒，我也愿意受到关注，但不管发生什么，我都可以活下去。(after she won the Oscar, then of course, things changed very quickly. Really overnight, the next day, phone is ringing all day, the house was full of flowers and all of a sudden, the millions actually billions of people had seen her in television and so even when I go to the supper market, people would applaud and say: there is the husband of Jessica Yu. And some times when phone was ring and I would pick it up and there always would be a person saying: Jessica you please,’and I would said:”she is not in right now, can I take a message? They say, are you her secretary? I say“no, I‘m her husband”,“oh, Mr. Yu, we’ve heard so much about you.”So suddenly everything changed, but in a good way. It’s fun to be marry to someone who is well known for it doing something really good, it’s different thing being well known for doing something bad. In this case, it’s just being great, but of course there are sometimes I’m jealous. I want attention too，but I can survive whatever things happened.)

　　同期：据说有些人听说自己得奖了就变得非常激动，寝食不安，甚至需要用安眠药，你那天睡的好吗？

　　虞琳敏:事实上，你知道，之前我有些紧张但没被吓着，你知道我的意思吗，我只是很激动。所以，被提名是件好事，即使只被提名没有得奖也是很好的。所以这是一种很好的感觉，不寻常的感觉，并非每一天都有的。(Beforehand I was nervous but not scared, do you know what I mean, I was just excited. So, it’s good to be nominated, if you just get nominated and you don’t win and it still a good thing, so that’s why it was a very good feeling but you know. It was very unusual, not everyday you have that to look forward to.)

　　解说：那是每个电影人梦寐以求的时刻，然而对虞琳敏而言，站在奥斯卡领奖台上远不如发现手镯上的一颗钻石丢失来的更为紧张，因为，那套衣服和手镯都是借来的。

　　虞琳敏：有意思的是，当你被提名后，有些地方会出租给你昂贵的衣服和首饰。我借了一些，但是突然间我感到很紧张，万一我弄丢了那些钻石的戒指耳环怎么办。当我从珠宝店回来的时候，那家著名的珠宝商亨利.云斯顿，他们借给我一条镶满钻石的手链，我低头看时发现少了一颗钻石。天哪，我已经丢失过一个了，那晚我没有睡好，第二天他们打电话来告诉我它掉在托盘上了，在盒子里，他们说别担心。但从那以后，我说我再也不要了，太受刺激了。(it is funny that when you get nominated there are places that will loan you the expensive dress and expensive jewelry. I borrowed these things but actually, all of a sudden, I felt very nervous, cause I thought what if I lose this, you know this diamond ear rings and so when I was driving back from the jewelry store, the Harry Winston the famous jeweler, they lend me a bracelet that has lots of diamonds, and I looked down that one was missing. My God, all ready I lost one, so that night I didn’t sleep very well, they called on the next day and said, oh, it fell out in the tray, it’s kept in the box, they said don’t worry about that. But after that I said no more, you know I don’t want this any more…too nerve-racking。

　　我穿戴的东西比我做的片子还贵，我数了数，把那些珠宝和服装加起来的钱要比我片子的成本多出几倍。那是种有趣的感觉。(what I was wearing cost more than my film but I counted the jewelry also, if you put the cost of the jewelry and the dress together, many times more than my film cost. It was a very funny feeling.)

　　解说：“当你的行头比你的电影预算还要贵的时候，你会意识到，你离成功不远了。”虞琳敏当晚的发言荣登九七年奥斯卡十大妙人妙语。这句玩笑话的背后，却道出了一个记录片导演的艰辛。

　　虞琳敏：做纪录片最难的是筹集资金，那是最难的事。假如你看一下片尾字幕，有时会看到我姐姐的名字，我哥哥的名字，我父母的名字，我祖父的名字。因为每个人都帮了忙，然后经常会有人无偿地或不计报酬地为某个片子工作。那些人只是想帮忙，因为他们喜欢这个节目。(The hardest thing with documentaries is…raising the money. That’s the hardest thing. If you look at the credits of the film, sometimes you see my sister’s name, my brother’s name, my parents’name, my grandfather…because everyone helps out, and then a lot of times people work on the film work for free or work for very little…and the wonderful people they just wanted to help you out, because they like the project.)

　　解说：在虞琳敏电影的片尾字幕中，经常会出现她的家人及朋友的名字，投资者，助理，甚至是演员。记录片对于他们来说，或许是爱屋及乌；但对于虞琳敏而言，则是事业，是可以让她置各种困难于不顾而要努力实现的梦想。

　　虞琳敏：我母亲和我父亲都很支持我，有时我们在拍节目，他们就会带些吃的来。有时我姐姐会帮忙停车，以免我们被开罚单，有时我弟弟会来帮忙。因此，有一个支持你的家庭是非常重要的，我很幸运，据我所知有很多，特别是亚洲移民会认为做这个事情太冒险。不容易养活自己。(A: my mother and my father are very supportive and sometimes when we were shooting, they would bring the food. Sometimes my sister would help park the cars, so we wouldn’t get a ticket, and sometimes my brother would help out. So it’s very important to have a supportive family and I’m luck that way, I mean I know a lot of, special a lot of Asians, they just, it’s considered something a little too risky or too weardess to do for a living. And it is risky, it’s not easy.)

　　同期；你找不到钱，或者说遇到困难的时候是否想过放弃？

　　虞琳敏：我想，做每一部片子都会有这个问题，那就是筹集资金，而且你并不知道是否能够成功。但是我所做的每一部片子都是我喜欢的，最终我还是成功地完成了它们。一方面是因为你的运气，另一方面是因为你不放弃。有一部片子我已经做了两年了，最后终于筹到了资金。所以，你必须同时进行许多事情，但最主要的是假如你对这个构想有信心，而且你觉得这会是一部好片子，通常都会找到一个好办法，这并不容易。(I think with every film there’s always a pointswheresyou try to raise the money and you don’t know if you going to be able to do it. But every project that I’ve started that’s a film that I really want to do, I actually have succeeded in getting it made. Part of it just because you get lucky, and the other part is because you just keep trying. There’s a film I working on now that I’ve been working on for two years we finally got the funding. So. You have to have other things you do at the same time, but I think the main thing is that if you have confidence in the idea and you think it’ll be a good film, usually you can find a way.

　　同期：除了家人，在外面你通过什么方式筹集到资金？

　　虞琳敏：大胆而且有恒心。你知道，但也得让人相信你可以用这些钱作出真正有价值的事情。你不能只是说，给我这些钱吧，因为我真的需要它们。brave and persistent…you know, but also of people feel like you actually can do something worthwhile with the money. You can’t just say, give me the money, because I really want it.

　　获得奥斯卡奖后你的生活是否有所改变？

　　虞琳敏：得了奥斯卡以后一切变得特别繁忙。很多电话，很多会议，但我真正想做的是继续拍我喜欢的电影。最近我在拍另一个纪录片，并且一直在做电视剧和广告等各种工作，但我还是继续做自己喜欢做的事情。(A: After the Oscar things got very, very busy, very busy. Lots of phone calls, and lots of meetings, but the thing is that I really wanted to continue making the kind of films that I like to do. Recently I went on to make another documentary, and I’ve been doing some television drama and some commercials, so different types of work but I also continue to do the work that I really enjoy.)

　　解说：也许对于记录片导演来说，更多的时候，最好的办法只能是等待，固守着创作的自主权，等待。

　　虞琳敏：每一个项目都很难，都有各自的问题。因为你想要保持自由的创作，能控制局面，所以这不仅是筹钱的问题，而是要通过正确的途径筹钱，这样会有人说，好，我可以给你钱但你必须这样做，或必须像这样，这个得在这儿这样拍。。。。。。你希望能自由地按照自己的想法去做，否则就不值得了。(every project is difficult, every project has it’s own problems. Because the thing is you want to retain the create of freedom, the create of control, so it’s not just you try to raise the money but you try to raise the money in the right way, so that somebody can come along and say ok, I give the money but you have to do it this way, or it has to be like this, it’s got to be here…you want to have the freedom to make it the way you want or it’s not worth it.)

　　解说：等待是最为消磨心志的一件事情，太多的人在等待中丧失了勇气，但虞琳敏甚至能将等待的烦躁转化为另一种创作的激情。在筹拍一部关于一群再现南北战争的人的片子过程中，她再次遇到了资金的困难，等待中，虞琳敏拍摄了一部只有三分钟的短片。

　　虞琳敏：哦，当然。那部片子拍的是些吃世界上最酸的糖的人。当然我也要去寻找最酸的糖。所以我尝试了不同的糖，最后我发现一种非常酸的糖，我说，好，就是这个，当我拿着这些糖给孩子们吃时，其中一个大声地哭了。我说，好了，不要了，不要了，然后给了他一些水，可是五分钟以后他又想吃那个糖了。这是一部非常荒唐而滑稽的片子。我们做得很快。Oh. Sour Death Balls, It’s a film about people eating the world sourest candy. Of course, I have to look for the world sourest candy, so I tried different kind of candies and finally I found one that was so awful, I said ok, this one would be good, so I got the candy, and the thing is that when I give to little kids it was too source one of them started crying, so I said no, no, no, and I gave them some water, and then five minutes later, he wanted to eat it again, so that one was just silly and fun. We just do that very quickly.

　　非常可笑的一个片子。我拍了一群不同年龄的人，你知道，有小孩，有大人，给他们吃世界上最酸的糖，然后记录下他们的表情。看上去很傻，但结果却大受欢迎。

　　(it’s very silly. What it is a bunch of different people, you know, children and adults eating the world’s sourest candy and so it’s just their expressions. It’s very silly but ended up being very successful.)

　　同期：通过这种方式你找到了一种自我平衡的途径？

　　虞琳敏：是的。是这样的，有时候你会感到十分沮丧，因为你想做，你可以做这个项目，这种时候最重要的是要找点事情做，这样你才能继续拍电影。所以为此，我只想做点有趣的事。(right. Well, sometimes when you get frustrated, because you can do the project you want to make then it’s important just to do something, because then you can keep making film. So, for this I just wanted to do something fun.)

　　解说：这个无心插柳之作为虞琳敏赢得了包括圣芭芭拉电影节最佳记录片短片在内的众多奖项。或许当初她满腹的酸涩比起这个酸死人的糖果来，也许有过之而无不及。而片中那个被酸到哭然后又伸手要糖果的小女孩，又像足了虞琳敏本人。不同的是，她的糖果是记录片。

　　虞琳敏：我在做大项目的间歇做了许多短片。这很令人满足，因为你可以自由地开始或结束，并将它们展示给大家。因为当你筹集资金时，整天都在打电话，等电子邮件，这是非常枯燥的，无法令人满足。I’ve made couple of short films in between the bigger projects. And it is satisfying because you can start, finish something and you can show it to people. Because sometimes when you raising the money you are on the phone all day, you are writing e-mail, you know, it’s very boring. It’s not very satisfying, but.

　　解说：14秒

　　获得奥斯卡奖之后，虞琳敏接受了多个国际品牌的邀请，为其代言，因为，接下来她还有很多片子要拍，她需要更多的资金。

　　片花5秒

　　解说：《呼吸的代价》，导演虞琳敏，荣获1997年第69届奥斯卡最佳记录片奖。

　　同期：我叫马可·布莱恩，是加利福尼亚州伯克利的一名诗人和作家。我患有因病毒引起的骨髓灰质炎，就是人们通常称的小儿麻痹症。多数这类病人的情况并不太严重，可是有些人，比如我的情况就很特殊，事实上已经严重到了四肢瘫痪，离开这个机器就无法独立呼吸的程度。我可以离开它一小时左右，但大部分时间我是在铁肺里度过的。

　　解说：获奖后，虞琳敏将金像带到马克·布莱恩面前。

　　虞琳敏：得奖是意料之外的，我非常高兴，我也很为这个片子和所有帮助完成它的人感到自豪。但对我来说，得奖只是一种额外的收获，因为制作这部片子才是真正的回报。the prize was like something extra, I mean it was really wonderful, and I was really proud of the film, and everyone to help this out. But to me it was like an extra bonus, because the making of the film was the real reward of the process.

　　获奥斯卡奖至少有一个好处，那就是它使人们不仅关注这部片子而且开始关注马克。布莱恩和他的作品，以及其他。你也许从未想过会得奖，但它的确是有好处的。One thing that was wonderful about the Oscar is that I think it helped bring more attention to not only the film but to Mark O’Brien and his work, and so something like that.

　　同期：你觉得是什幺使你的影片获得奥斯卡奖？

　　虞琳敏：我想，不管有没有得奖，我每做一部片子的质量，技术等其他方面都会对我形成压力。我想假如你对自己做的事是认真的，那么每一次都会想做得更好。但同时，更多人在关注你，你知道，越来越多的人开始注意你，所以你的确感觉到压力，但这是好现象，我是说，并非许多亚洲人，亚洲女性在做导演，所以你必须要干得出色。如此人们才不会。。。人们才有理由认可你。我想，当你想得到一份工作或他们在决定是否应该让这个人导演的时候，任何一点不合格都会成为别人拒绝你的理由。这就是为什么竞争那么激烈，许多亚裔，许多女性都在这个行业里努力奋斗。A: I think that even though I know that in terms of the films that each one, the quality of the film, the technical pressures or whatever that they are greater with every film, that pressure I would have whether I won the award or not. I think if you are serious about what you do, you want to do better every time. But at the same time, more people are watching you, you know, you get more attention, so you do feel the pressure and…but I think it’s a good pressure, I mean there’s also not a whole lot of Asians, not a lot of women who direct and so you feel like you need to do good job. So that people won’t…so it’s a reason for…people to say, yes. I think when you get a job or when people are trying to decide, oh, should we let this person direct, anything that makes you different is kind of a reason to say no, so that’s why I think people struggle, a lot of Asians, a lot of women struggle to get jobs in this business.

　　哦，天哪，我想，这部片子真实反映了这个人物的故事，而且他非常非常坦诚，毫无保留地告诉我们他的生活，作品和他的经历。我想这就是人们的反响，他们透过他的视角看他的生活，而这种节目不是你每天都能从电视或电影上看到的。(A: oh, gosh. I think the main thing about this film is that it’s really this man’s story, and he speaks very, very honestly, very openly about his life and his work and what he’s been through. I think that’s what people responded to, they saw his life from his point of view, and it was something that you don’t see in movies or TV everyday.)

　　解说：起初，在太平洋通讯社的Sandy Close建议她制作一部关于马克的片子的时候，虞琳敏并不认为自己是合适的人选，因为这是一个严肃的题材，而她以往片子的风格都是比较滑稽另类的。但是当虞琳敏读完马克的著作——《呼吸》的时候，她改变了原先的主意。

　　虞琳敏：什幺促使我制作这部特别的片子？在“呼吸课程”之前，我的多数作品都是比较滑稽，比较娱乐的。我偶然间读到一篇文章，旧金山某个新的服务机构提供的，这个机构的负责人，一位女士给我打来电话，说她知道我做纪录片，并且建议应该有人拍一部关于马克。布莱恩的片子，他是他们机构的一位作家。当我听说这个消息时，我并不觉得自己是合适的人选。因为这可能会是一个很严肃的片子。然后我读了他的诗，他的文章，我一下被他说的话及他的声音吸引住了。他非常诚实，非常坦白。我很激动，因为我知道这将不仅是一部关于一个生活在痛苦中的小二麻痹症患者的片子，他将道出一个人的心声，他真正想告诉世界的话。我们的社会非常需要他对世界的这种理解方式，而他偏偏是一个与生活绝缘的人。这一切都让我充满兴趣。我非常想知道为什么像这样一个生活受到严重局限的人，却有着如此生动的想象力。他的现实生活和理想生活以及他的精神生活之间的距离是如此殊胜。这就是我对此感兴趣的原因。(What makes me interested in making this particular film is that? Ok Well, the think about this is that before“BTEATHING LESSONS”most of my films were kind of unusual and funny, and then when someone，I read an article, a new service in San Francisco. The woman who ran the service called me up and she said I know you are a filmmaker, and someone should really make a film about“Mark O’Brien”, he is one of our writers. So when I heard about him I thought I didn’t know I was the right person,‘cause it’s, it could be a very serious film. But then I read his poetry and I read his articles, then I was so impressed by what he had to say and the voice that he had. He was very, very…it’s very honest and very direct. And so then I got very excited, because I thought the story is not just about someone who had polio, had a bad life, this is a film about somebody who’s got a voice, you really know what he wants to say. There were such an urgency to the way that he dress the world. But he was so isolated in his life, this thing is very interesting to me. I just want to find out more about how this person who has such a limited life, has such a vivid imagination, you know, there was kind of such a dichotomy between the way he lived, and the way he want to live and the way that his mind lived. So that’s why I was interested in it. )

　　解说：虞琳敏感兴趣和关心的是马克的故事，他的心路历程，他这个人。这不是一个旁观者的观看，也不是在别人的故事里流自己的泪，而是一个值得信任的记录者，一个有耐心的倾诉对象，一个忠诚的转述者。

　　虞琳敏：是的。制作“马克布莱恩”这个节目对我来说是一段不寻常的经历。因为在制作节目时他非常合作，非常非常信任我们。那段时间，虽然我们一起做了近一年的节目，我们并没有成为……，你知道，做节目时必须保持一定距离，集中精力在拍片上，假如距离太近会模糊感觉。当然，在制作结束后，我们成了非常好的朋友。我们之间的友谊一直保持了很多年直到他去世。失去多年的朋友我感到非常难过。但令人高兴的是这部影片的感染力在他去世后仍然延续着。因此我个人认为能交到这样一位朋友，享受我们的友谊是幸运的。他如此与众不同，不光与众不同，而且他对事物有非同寻常的洞察力。我喜欢同他谈论不同的话题，因为他对事物总是有一些有趣的理解，像是政治或别的。( Yeah. Well making the film about“Mark O’Brien”was a really unusual experience, because he was so co-operative and let me just make the film, he is very, very trusting. And during that time, we worked on the film for about a year, but we didn’t become a….,you know when you make the film, you have to keep a certain distance you have to just worked on the film together, because it can get confusing if you making the film for your body. But after the film was done, then we got to be very good friends, so we remained friends for several years till he died. And I was very hard loosing him after just couple years of being friends. But it was exciting to see what the impact of the film was on his life afterwards. So, I think personally it was just wonderful to make friend like that, and enjoy this company a lot, and he was very unusual, not very unusual but is very perceptive about things. I was enjoy talking to him about different issues，because he always had a very interesting take on things, you know, politics or whatever.)

　　虞琳敏：哦,上帝。对此我不太确定。对于做纪录片，首先是人物的故事能激发我个人的好奇感和兴趣。一旦开始制作，我就尽量从题材本身出发去讲述。因此，假如你看此类节目，就会觉得片子中的人物是在直接与你交谈，因而你能获得更多有价值的东西。假如感觉我不存在，我没有产生影响，这就是对我最好的评价。当然在做节目时，是由我决定往里增加什幺或删除什幺，或者什幺事情我不管、什幺事情我要插手。我是说我向人们展示我想让他们知道的内容，但我希望人们感到是直接从人物身上获得的。我的确存在，但并不明显。这样回答可以吗？( Oh, Gosh. I’m not sure, well, I think you know with documentaries, the thing is that, you know, what’s personal about them, is my own personal curiosity, my interest in these things. But once you started making the film, I try to tell the story as much from the prospective of the subject of the stories as I can. So if you watch the film, you feel like the person in the film is talking directly to you.，then you getting is much from their point of view. So if people think that I disappear, you know, they feel like I don’t have an impact, that’s a very good compliment. Of cause I make decisions about what to put in and what to put out, you know, what to leave out. I mean of cause I am involved in showing the people what I want them to see, but I like them to feel like they are getting it from the person in the film. So I’m in there but it’s not so visible. Does it make any sense.)

　　这部片子得奖之后的确想过把它拍成电影，但最终还是没有拍成。并非因为诸多争论，而是要把一部这种题材的纪录片拍成电影是一件非常难的事。那是最难的。要想把它做好，你就得忠实于这个故事，而这个故事是关于一个重度残废的人，通常不是好莱坞愿意投资的那种，因为不一定能卖到好票房。所以我们还是乐于做纪录片，既然电影不能做到位，那干脆不做。( ok, after the film won the award, there was some interest in making it a feature film and the project ended up not happening. Not because there’s argument so much but it’s a very, very difficult thing to get a dramatic film made about this kind of subject. I think that was the most difficult thing. To do it right, you want to stay faithful to what the story was, and it’s the story of a man dealing with severe disability. It’s not the kind of thing that the Hollywood generally wants to throw lots of money at，so with kind of difficult sale that way. In the end you know it’s happy to do with the documentary so, for we couldn’t do it the right way then it’s better not to do it.)